For a while I’ve been thinking about my journey through life. Just as I prepare for the ending bits of the fourth quarter, I reflect back on the events that happened in my life this year. I decided not to create any New Year Delusions Resolutions this upcoming year because they do not string in anything but defeat.
Now, before you pull the narcissist card out on me, I’m far from negative on this issue. I’m more focused on reflecting and growing EVERY year. So much has happened to me in the last 8 months that I couldn’t think are anything but blessings in disguises. I bought a new car, got a new job, an internship, as well as a staff writer position for a magazine (that goes to show you why I haven’t been posting on here lately, lol). However, I am so fortunate for the opportunities. But to be honest, I have no idea where this is taking me.
I’ve always have this certainty that by 35 I’ll be financially free, with a few New York Times Bestsellers on deck, my enterprises booming with success employing hundreds while building communities and spreading peace in the Motherland. Not to say it will not happen, being that I am only 22. A lot can will happen in 13 years!
As reality strikes my present, I’m broke, a halfway college grad (an A.A. Degree is nothing but an “almost there”certification…in my mind) and full of talent, dreams, and creativity. I’m also intellectually naive, which is why my mind races on curiosity 100% of the time.
But at my mere age, I often feel alone on my quest in refusal to settle for less. Like, do these desires for more ring any desires with anyone else. I see those around my age choosing the 9-5 professional route, which is dope. Then there’s some who feel like time is running out. Those who do feel like their time is cutting do the most worse possible thing….settle. They settle to work for forty years, get married and bear children. Not that this is bad. But the habitual routine of that lifestyle just isn’t for me. There I’ll admit it.
I cannot see myself working for ANYONE until I am sixty. I want to travel. I want to change the world. I want to help others. At 22, I have never in my life ever agreed to be okay with present moment. Maybe because there is always more to reach for. Being okay with what is in front of you without keeping your eye on a prize brings settlement and comfort…uggh!
I know I am all over the place in this post. I think this is what they call…venting.
I’ll bring it back into perspective. As we approach this new year, instead of creating goals I know for damn sure won’t achieve, I have decided to reflect and grow thy self. I have decided to “study” and obtain knowledge. Not because of my ferocious reading addiction, but because I cannot teach and change others if I don’t start with myself.
In parting ways with the normalcy this society does over new year resolutions, I want to instead study. There is no goal in wanting to learn and grow. And you really can’t get anywhere without it.
Anyways, I’m blabbing.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
therealgurl 